Tag Archives: change

Maybe this time

Posted on by vgemmell
Our White Agate wedding oathing stone/crystal (photo by Heyes Images)

When thinking over today’s prompt: write about an hour that changed my life, the temptation was to try to think of a big dramatic event, but when I was thinking about hours that have changed my life significantly they’ve not happened in isolation, and most often have occurred because I’ve been brave enough to put myself out there, go after new opportunities and remain open-minded and curious.

There have been significant hours where I’ve filled out important course applications, important job applications, taken a deep breath and sent my writing out into the world to be read…

Signed up for a dating site again, putting myself out there, hoping, maybe this time…

And a message that popped up from that dating site then led to an hour which did change my life in a very pleasant, unexpected way. When I met my now husband.

And thinking back I had no idea I was walking towards my last first date.

And the man running down the street towards me, ten minutes late, was actually perfectly on time, meeting me when I felt in the right place and ready for him.

That first hour we spent time getting to know each other, checking we were who we hoped, discovering if we matched up to the online dating persona (or in my husband’s case surpassing it seeing as he had written in his profile he had a peg leg and sold golf balls at the Barras). I remember the detail of the day – it was late October and unnaturally warm and I remember the detail of him… in those first couple of minutes the flash of first impressions when the sun shone in his eyes, reflecting shades of green and his smile was a mix of confidence and youthful energy and there was always a sense of calm, and later laughter.

Our relationship unfolded so naturally from that initial hour onwards that I never paused to think about the significance of that first meeting, of where it might go, because it just….went…flowed naturally without drama.

And I still remember that spark of anticipation when he sent me a message after we met to tell me he got a parking ticket, but I was totally worth it.

And then I definitely thought, maybe this time…

Resignation

Posted on by vgemmell

Today’s writing prompt is to take a negative comment and flip it into an essay or post. This was a tough one as I debated for a while about what to focus on here. My post below is about an experience I had nearly twenty years ago (eek), and the only people who would know who I’m talking about will be those who also worked with this guy, or who are in my life and know my work history! (googling his name I discovered he featured in a Bad Bosses Tv investigation a few years ago, so I’m sure this post will be very light-hearted in comparison!)

Dear Boss I thought only existed in 80s films,

That day you called me into your office when I was twenty-four for my ‘exit interview’ was a positive turning point in my life.

There you were…the boss who banned all holidays during a ‘launch’ period, paid us a pittance, boasted about your gold lined jackets, sent me on wild goose chases to costume shops, made chauvinistic comments to female employees, loved to sit in our airless/windowless office chain smoking when the smoking ban was already in place, had a gun sitting on your desk facing me and two other employees when we visited you at head office, greeting us with the comment; ‘It might be a toy, but it might not be. Hahaha…’

You were reading over my resignation letter, then reading through my CV (which you must have trolled through the HR files for), just so you could scan down it and smirk and say, ‘Well, what exactly are you going to do with your life? You’ve not exactly got a stellar career behind you. What kind of job do you think you’re going to walk in to after this?’

‘I have it all planned out thanks.’ I knew your style by now and I knew you were trying to intimidate and belittle me, and I was ready for you. What I really wanted to say was I am leaving because you are a bully, you treat your staff with no respect, your wages are laughable and that big idea you are trying to launch is about to fall flat on its face (and it did, three months later, and our local office shut).

Then you flashed me a bigger smirk (and this fleeting hobby was not on my CV so I can only wonder what kinds of conversations you were having with some of the male staff), ‘I mean what are you going to do, become a professional belly dancer?’

It was at this point I stood up and told you that our conversation was over and that you had my letter of resignation and I was working my notice and then I walked out.

You showed me something that day – that I had a choice. I had the power to walk away from men like you and walk out of the room as a way of silencing you.

And your comment, ‘you don’t exactly have a stellar career behind you.’ No I didn’t, because when I graduated from University at twenty-one I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do but during the worst days in your weird company it drove me to self-reflect and actually figure out what direction to take.

And I never looked back. That same year I enrolled on a postgraduate course, became a qualified careers adviser, secured a job before graduation, and went on to have a wee bit of writing success too.

Today when I hear stories from clients about horrible bosses and insufferable workplaces I nod in sympathy because I always think about you, and when I listen to my clients talk about their experience I think to myself, they’ve brought you here, and it’s making you want change and that’s a good thing  because hopefully then it will lead on to so many better and bigger things.