Today’s prompt is ‘Write about a time you had to speak to a large crowd’ And here’s a post about not just one time, but a few times…

When I was younger there were times when I really hated the thought of public speaking, and other occasions where I quite enjoyed it. This is sometimes the contradiction of being me- I often think I am a bit of a social introvert. Depending on circumstances you can get the ‘quiet’ me, or the ‘confident, communicative me’. (Often if there are very loud folk dominating the room you’ll only get to meet the ‘quiet me’, especially if you start making comments about how ‘I need to come out of my shell.’ No, actually, you need to go back in your shell).

I can think of two different occasions, a year apart in school in English where I had to do the ‘oral presentation’ part of the curriculum and the first time I was so nervous I barely looked up; the second time I was raring to go and had maps and diagrams up on the board. That was the first time I think I understood how to properly ‘command’ an audience.

Fast forward a few years to University and for most of my degree in Media and Communication I hated delivering presentations to my seminar groups. Then in my last year I got to deliver a presentation on a topic I had really researched and was enthused by – Post Modernity (and I got to talk about Andy Warhol as part of this). It was by far the best presentation I had delivered and some people came up at the end to tell me it was the first time they understood what that module was actually about. One woman ( who I didn’t really know that well as we had joint classes sometimes with social science students) was kind enough to say she was going to remember my name as she was positive I would be famous one day. (Still waiting, ha!). ‘First year me’ would have been shocked if I tried to reassure her this moment would happen and that I would get there in the end.

Fast forward another few years and I was back at University again, this time studying a post graduate one year course, training to become a careers adviser (my current day job). This was a very intense, full-on course which I loved. There was no time to feel shy or nervous; we all got thrown right in with client contact, even being filmed interviewing pupils (Uni got permission of course) and we then had to watch the recordings (and analyse them!!) together with our small crit groups so we could hone our practice. Another big part of the course was to get assessed delivering group work to classes in schools. During my first few years as a careers adviser I also had to deliver career talks to full assemblies, and more recently deliver a presentation to a packed room of parents.

Little did I know during my training and early years in the job how useful this experience was going to be for my other ‘career’. When you write for hours in isolation, often not speaking to anyone, (when I lived alone), you kind of forget what can happen when your work then gets published and your readers want to actually interact with you. I felt very fortunate when my first book was published to be invited to deliver creative writing workshops and author talks in both schools and in the community.

Talking to large groups of teenagers can be very unpredictable. You have to learn to ‘read the room’ pretty quickly, and at any group talk/session prepare for IT to fail. This has happened to me several times. One of my biggest author talks was to a full assembly hall of second years and the school IT system died just as they walked into the hall (so cue no flashy powerpoint presentation from me). The librarian who organised it was panicked, then relieved when I told her it was fine, I always had a back-up plan. (a careers adviser 101 rule). Another time the school IT systems decided to do updates on the library computer system.

I’ve had lots of great experiences talking to groups as part of my writing life. One of my favourite events was when I got to speak at a ‘Read to Succeed’ evening – this was to both young people and adults at a school and I was asked to tell them about the part reading played in me becoming a writer. So I got to speak from the heart and talk about two of my passions in life – reading and writing – and it was really one of the most enjoyable evenings I’ve had. One of the girls who attended that night found one of my author social media pages and sent me a message to tell me I had inspired her to start reading again, and maybe even try writing, and it was one of the best messages I’ve ever received in my writing life.

Another favourite experience was returning to the Scottish Association of Writers conference to deliver my adjudication for a competition I had been asked to judge (and deliver a creative workshop). I attended my first conference when I was 17 and returned over the years, winning my first ever writing competition there. (and winning meant reading your story in front of the packed conference which was a very scary moment at the time!). It meant a lot to return to the conference as an adjudicator and felt like a real ‘full circle’ moment.

The night that really topped all experiences of talking to a large group was launch night for ‘Follow Me’ at Waterstones. As any writer knows there are a lot of ups and downs in the writing life, and that night was definitely up there with one of my most memorable nights – mainly because it was so unique to have some many people I loved from so many walks of my life in the one room together, cheering me on as one of my ultimate dreams became a reality. I always joke that no matter what happens in my writing future, at least I have that night to remember!

And yes, I do still get scared and nervous when I speak to large crowds, but now I think I have learned to develop a ‘performance’ persona where I know I can get through it and actually enjoy the experience. And there’s nothing quite like the buzz of feeling like you have made a connection with the audience in some small way.