Tag Archives: writer

Public speaking

Posted on by vgemmell
Me, several years ago adjudicating and delivering my workshop at the Scottish Association of Writers conference

Today’s prompt is ‘Write about a time you had to speak to a large crowd’ And here’s a post about not just one time, but a few times…

When I was younger there were times when I really hated the thought of public speaking, and other occasions where I quite enjoyed it. This is sometimes the contradiction of being me- I often think I am a bit of a social introvert. Depending on circumstances you can get the ‘quiet’ me, or the ‘confident, communicative me’. (Often if there are very loud folk dominating the room you’ll only get to meet the ‘quiet me’, especially if you start making comments about how ‘I need to come out of my shell.’ No, actually, you need to go back in your shell).

I can think of two different occasions, a year apart in school in English where I had to do the ‘oral presentation’ part of the curriculum and the first time I was so nervous I barely looked up; the second time I was raring to go and had maps and diagrams up on the board. That was the first time I think I understood how to properly ‘command’ an audience.

Fast forward a few years to University and for most of my degree in Media and Communication I hated delivering presentations to my seminar groups. Then in my last year I got to deliver a presentation on a topic I had really researched and was enthused by – Post Modernity (and I got to talk about Andy Warhol as part of this). It was by far the best presentation I had delivered and some people came up at the end to tell me it was the first time they understood what that module was actually about. One woman ( who I didn’t really know that well as we had joint classes sometimes with social science students) was kind enough to say she was going to remember my name as she was positive I would be famous one day. (Still waiting, ha!). ‘First year me’ would have been shocked if I tried to reassure her this moment would happen and that I would get there in the end.

Fast forward another few years and I was back at University again, this time studying a post graduate one year course, training to become a careers adviser (my current day job). This was a very intense, full-on course which I loved. There was no time to feel shy or nervous; we all got thrown right in with client contact, even being filmed interviewing pupils (Uni got permission of course) and we then had to watch the recordings (and analyse them!!) together with our small crit groups so we could hone our practice. Another big part of the course was to get assessed delivering group work to classes in schools. During my first few years as a careers adviser I also had to deliver career talks to full assemblies, and more recently deliver a presentation to a packed room of parents.

Little did I know during my training and early years in the job how useful this experience was going to be for my other ‘career’. When you write for hours in isolation, often not speaking to anyone, (when I lived alone), you kind of forget what can happen when your work then gets published and your readers want to actually interact with you. I felt very fortunate when my first book was published to be invited to deliver creative writing workshops and author talks in both schools and in the community.

Talking to large groups of teenagers can be very unpredictable. You have to learn to ‘read the room’ pretty quickly, and at any group talk/session prepare for IT to fail. This has happened to me several times. One of my biggest author talks was to a full assembly hall of second years and the school IT system died just as they walked into the hall (so cue no flashy powerpoint presentation from me). The librarian who organised it was panicked, then relieved when I told her it was fine, I always had a back-up plan. (a careers adviser 101 rule). Another time the school IT systems decided to do updates on the library computer system.

I’ve had lots of great experiences talking to groups as part of my writing life. One of my favourite events was when I got to speak at a ‘Read to Succeed’ evening – this was to both young people and adults at a school and I was asked to tell them about the part reading played in me becoming a writer. So I got to speak from the heart and talk about two of my passions in life – reading and writing – and it was really one of the most enjoyable evenings I’ve had. One of the girls who attended that night found one of my author social media pages and sent me a message to tell me I had inspired her to start reading again, and maybe even try writing, and it was one of the best messages I’ve ever received in my writing life.

Another favourite experience was returning to the Scottish Association of Writers conference to deliver my adjudication for a competition I had been asked to judge (and deliver a creative workshop). I attended my first conference when I was 17 and returned over the years, winning my first ever writing competition there. (and winning meant reading your story in front of the packed conference which was a very scary moment at the time!). It meant a lot to return to the conference as an adjudicator and felt like a real ‘full circle’ moment.

The night that really topped all experiences of talking to a large group was launch night for ‘Follow Me’ at Waterstones. As any writer knows there are a lot of ups and downs in the writing life, and that night was definitely up there with one of my most memorable nights – mainly because it was so unique to have some many people I loved from so many walks of my life in the one room together, cheering me on as one of my ultimate dreams became a reality. I always joke that no matter what happens in my writing future, at least I have that night to remember!

And yes, I do still get scared and nervous when I speak to large crowds, but now I think I have learned to develop a ‘performance’ persona where I know I can get through it and actually enjoy the experience. And there’s nothing quite like the buzz of feeling like you have made a connection with the audience in some small way.

The Opposite of Cake

Posted on by vgemmell
Pixabay image by Rotten77

Skipping ahead to prompt 13 on the list, ‘What is the opposite of cake’ as I thought this is probably one of the most random ones and I need to be creative here. (Also, it’s Bake Off night, which I will now be watching on catch-up!). I delivered an enjoyable flash fiction workshop this afternoon at Erskine Writers and the fact this post has turned into a flash fiction piece shows how much I enjoy the form.

When I was thinking about the opposite of cake, my immediate thought was salad. I decided to ask the internet what it thought, and it took me to Thesarus.plus which gave me this list of ‘Cake Atonyms’ (Atonym is defined as: a word opposite in meaning to another)

 bear · beast · chore · headache · horror show · killer · labour · murder. pain.

All quite dramatic, and I guess thesarus is thinking of cake in terms of phrases such as ‘piece of cake’ and ‘have your cake and eat it’. Anyway, here’s what these words sparked off in my brain:

The Opposite of Cake

I was promised cake at this party. I half-starved myself on salad and crackers earlier today and all I can see are canapes the size of my pinkie getting distributed around the room. One of the waiters who is serving reminds me of a bear – he’s about six foot tall, massive shoulders, fuzzy beard. He catches me staring and thrusts a tray of mini pastry-somethings under my nose and I take three and stuff them in my mouth all at once, just as Jeremy turns his head and catches my eye, and nudges his new fiancé to turn around too. So now they’re both smiling and walking towards me and I’m trying to desperately deflate my hamster cheeks so I can smile back and look like I’m having a GREAT TIME.

“Frances, so lovely to see you.” Saffron shakes my hand, but it’s more of a grab my fingers and cling kind of gesture and I find myself squeezing her thumb awkwardly and I’m already eyeing the free bar fantasising about the headache it’s going to give me. Saffron runs a manicured hand down my jacket sleeve, eyeing the pattern curiously. “Gosh, this feels divine. Is it a Westwood?” Jeremy is adjusting his bow tie beside her, his smile straining and I know he wants me to lie.

“No, it’s a Tumu,” I reply, enjoying the confusion on both of their faces.

“I don’t think I’ve heard of them,” she says.

“Really, they’re quite awful. Fans of child labour, and often pilfer your credit card details. But I’m a sucker for pretty patterns, what can I say.”

Jeremy looks like he wants to murder me and Saffron pauses, considering if I’m being serious, then decides I can’t possibly be and hee- haw laughs me over to meet her friends, who are all wearing badges with the new company logo. I realise with a startle that must have been what the boy at the door was trying to give me, and he wasn’t actually slipping me a tip to take his coat.

I try to join in with the small talk but I prefer big talk so I wander off to the bar and then peruse the tables of tiny sandwiches and sushi. Still no cake.

Jeremy clambers up to the make-shift stage with Saffron by his side and they give me a name-check, to thank me for my initial involvement in the ideas stage of the app, when I was Jeremy’s fiancé and Saffron was the face of the health and well-being marketing strategy, after investing a heavy amount of her family money into the start-up.

The start-up has now taken off. Jeremy also took off. And really it was for the best because he looks at home here, whereas I’d rather actually be at home, doing the chores even, anything to take me away from this pompous horror show of well-groomed ‘rising stars’ I don’t want to talk to.

Five drinks down I corner Jeremy and he looks scared, like I’m some crazed killer.

“Relax,” I hold up a hand, realising he thinks I’m upset about them and the company when he should know their pay-off was enough to sweeten any lingering pain. “I was just wondering where is the cake? You promised me cake.”

Jeremy lets out a shrill laugh, his body deflating with relief. “Did I? Oh, sorry. Saffron is gluten and sugar-free so we decided to spend the cake money on the badges instead. Aren’t they cute?” He’s pinned his in the middle of his bow tie and now I feel like grabbing the badge and murdering him with it.

He pats me on the shoulder then walks off and that’s it, the party is over. I look up to see the waiter from earlier beckoning me towards the kitchen.

I flash him a confused smile, curiosity making me follow. He is standing by an open fridge, and inside is the most magnificent chocolate cake, with a mutilated couple dancing on top.

“It’s supposed to be Beauty and the Beast, but that part didn’t quite work out.” He makes a face. “I run a cake decorating class here on Tuesday nights. I heard you talking about the lack of cake…”

And then we’re sitting sampling the sweetness and he makes me laugh, and I think how Jeremy and Saffron and this whole night has been the opposite of cake, right up until this moment. The waiter cuts me another slice and I bask in the sugar high.

Life Goals

Posted on by vgemmell

I’ve been on a bit of a writing hiatus lately hence the lack of posts on here. I got married last month and wedding planning and admin took over a bit, alongside day job and other life stuff, meaning something had to give. I take my hat off to writers I read about in interviews who describe their chaotic lives and how they will grab every spare moment to still get words down on paper. Words were still there in my head, with scenes from a new book playing out often, but I just didn’t have the energy or headspace to really get stuck in. I’m excited to give some new focus to my creative life again, with my first goal to finish edits on a book I finished a while back (and put to one side after some feedback). This will hopefully be out by the end of this year, or the start of next, depending how fast I work.

I had a wonderful day on my wedding and naturally when big life events like this take place I think it makes you reflect on life in general. The playlist we chose for our wedding reception contained key songs from pinnacle moments of our youth and when surrounded by friends from different walks of life it made me feel lucky, and also happy and content with a real sense of ‘being in the right place at the right time.’

During our mini-moon to Arran I ventured out on a walk myself along the beach (as my new hubbie rested up to recover from a cold!). I stopped off at an amazing bakery to buy a sausage roll and as I sat on a bench watching the waves lap against the shore it reminded me of all of trips I went on during my 30s. I embraced the single life for most of my 30s and feel grateful for the adventures I went on to Paris alone, twice, where I sat eating a pastry on a bench in Jardin De Luxembourg feeling then too, I was in the right place, at the right time. When I met my husband in my late 30s I was truly happy with who I was, and what I had accomplished. Too often I feel we are made to feel pressured by some arbitrary timeline of expectation and I am so glad real love arrived a bit later in life for me. My husband joked when we first got together he had been in ‘the boyfriend oven’ getting ready for me and I loved this description as I think I was also in my own oven getting ready for him too.

When my first book came out I was delighted I had achieved this massive life goal of mine at the age of 35. Then this year I read one of the best books I’ve ever read ‘Lessons in Chemistry’ and the author Bonnie Garmus is in her 60s, and this is her debut and part of me thought maybe to write a truly amazing and insightful novel you actually need to wait a while to let life happen so you know how to write about it well. In recent years I definitely view my writing ‘career’ as a continuous work in progress and I’m not even sure what I want my goals to look like anymore – really just keeping words on a page, reaching readers somewhere feels like an achievement these days.

In my job as a careers adviser I come across a lot of young people putting immense pressure on themselves, often those in their 20s particularly hard on themselves, feeling like life is passing them by because they’re not where they thought they would be, or they’re not where they think they should be (or more often than not, after some unpicking, really they are worrying about other people judging them to not be where they think they should be).

I think we should all scrap the ‘timeline’ from our head and not get hung up on achieving our goals. I do think it can be energising and kind of exciting to have goals, but we shouldn’t be a slave to them, and we should leave room to let them change too because no one really wants to follow a linear path – often the detours make for a much more scenic adventure.

Launch of my new YA Mystery Promise Me

Posted on by vgemmell

Tomorrow I am having an online celebration for the launch of my new YA mystery Promise Me. Anyone can join the facebook page to take part in giveaways and watch some videos/find out more about the book!

Follow the link here: to the page … and this link takes you to the platforms where you can purchase Promise Me

Book news

Posted on by vgemmell

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If the past year and a half has taught me, (and you, I’m sure), anything, it’s that life is unpredictable and short, and all the clichés that go along with that line of thinking.

If the past few years have taught me anything, it’s that the publishing industry is even more unpredictable and slow, and often constraining. Constraining in that you’re left to depend very much on someone else setting your timelines, and there’s a lot of waiting around wanting to know what’s happening, often ghosting, and that then gives you a lot of time to then wonder about your writing, and if it’s any good, and if you will ever see your next book in print. After taking my second book back from my publisher by mutual agreement it threw me out into the world of submissions again, you see. For the non-writers reading this basically think about any time you have tried online dating. It’s not all bad of course. In the end online dating was actually a success for me, and I have been traditionally published before, but… you know…you have to go through a bit of pain to get to the place you want to be.

For me, it felt like I’ve been standing still the past few years when it comes to my writing, even although ‘behind the scenes’ I have very much been getting words down on paper (or onto my screen). Too much of my thoughts were occupied with but when will these words be out there in the world again, will they ever be out there in the world again...everyone is going to think I’m a failure, and I forgot to enjoy the process and I fell out of love a bit with creating.

So then I started to ask myself what do I actually want from my writing? and I talked A LOT to people close to me who I feel very lucky to have in my life as they keep me sane , and I asked a good friend and colleague of mine (thanks Hilary) to give me a career coaching interview so I could dig a bit deeper into that question, (what do I want from my writing), and most importantly set myself some actions that would help me move forward.

I realised I am sometimes so immersed in the world of writers, on social media predominantly, especially the past few years, I subconsciously absorb what I think is the right or coveted direction to travel in terms of a writing career. And I put a lot of pressure on myself and I don’t actually focus enough on allowing myself to just actually ENJOY writing…to go back to that raw feeling of excitement that I get from joining words together that are actually forming into a story, and to enjoy seeing where it is going to take me.

After my first book launch friends bought me cards and bookmarks and there was a common phrase appearing on these: ‘ Create Your Own Story.’

So that’s what I am now doing; I am taking control of my own story, and this was a really long winded way of saying I have a book coming out next month and that I am going full Indie with this, self-publishing (but actually I have a team- my Mum has been amazing with the technical side, final edits, and I have a fab cover artist, Rebecca, and professional platforms which will deal with distribution).

It feels good. Promise Me, my next Young Adult mystery is finally going to make its way out into the world. And I hope some readers find it, as really that’s all I want. Readers, and a sense that I am connecting with people.

I will be doing a cover reveal very soon for Promise Me, posting my book trailer, and probably posting far too much about it in general, so I apologise in advance for that.

I’m finishing this post with a link to wise words from Ethan Hawke (a crush of mine back in his Reality Bites days, and who knew he has a lot of soul too…). This is titled: ‘Give yourself permission to be creative‘ The underlying message is basically stop worrying about the quality of your creative work and what other people will think of it, as the ‘world is an ‘extremely unreliable critic.’ And it is very important ‘to play the fool.’

I also recently read ‘Bird by Bird’ by Anne Lamott (every writer should read this) and I loved the line, ‘Be afraid of wasting…time obsessing about how you look and how people see you.’ And ‘Write towards vulnerability.’

Putting my work out there myself does make me feel vulnerable, but I’m ready to play the fool!

Book giveaway and the story behind the stories

Posted on by vgemmell

 

I’m doing a wee book giveaway over on my Twitter feed @vikkigemmell which closes at 5pm on Thursday.

One winner, (UK only, due to postage costs), will receive a signed copy of my contemporary short story collection, ‘Exposure’ and the goodies in the image above.

What could be a better way to pass your summer holidays? Reading, eating a bar of chocolate and sipping on a hot chocolate while the rain lashes down outside…

An extract of the blurb on the back of the book reads: ‘These stories will take you on an emotional journey, exposing the light and the dark aspects of love, loss, freedom and hope’ 

Extracts from some reviews describe the stories as, ‘Evocative…Poignant…Thought-provoking…Some very dark indeed, but all intriguing… Beautifully written, Wonderful use of words…’

It’s always a bit more challenging trying to sum up a collection of a variety of stories with different themes and different characters, so I thought I’d give you a little insight into a selection of them, with taster first lines, (and sometimes other lines), with my ‘story behind the story’.

Only You

‘As the plane sped along the runway Sophie felt a piece of herself fall back into place…’

I have a soft spot for this one as some of the scenes in the story are inspired by my observations during a couple of solo trips I took to Paris in my early 30s, which I have very fond memories of.

This story is about a young woman who calls off her wedding but decides to still go on her honeymoon alone to Paris, walking the streets in her wedding dress.

The bleeding heart panting mentioned in the story was hanging in the stairwell in my hotel, (the image of which is above), and I saw an old couple embrace passionately in Jardin du Luxembourg which relates to the line, ‘…As they pulled apart and walked on, hand in hand, Sophie didn’t feel sadness at what she had lost. She felt hope that something true, something that could stand the test of time, was still waiting to be found.’

And yes, I did also see a woman walking the streets in a wedding dress. I’m sure unlike my story she actually did get married, but for one fleeting moment I did wonder if she was alone, and if the smile on her face was not the obvious happiness you would expect which sparked off the whole idea for this one.

 

Performance

‘I can feel it. The heat rising from the audience beyond the curtains. The artificial smoke curling up, crawling across the stage, circling my ankles, pulling at me to hurry up.’

This was my first ever published piece of work, back in 2011. It appeared in the online Spilling Ink Review journal (which sadly doesn’t exist anymore). Thank you Amy Burns (the former editor) for starting me off on my journey to publication and for making me feel like I wasn’t writing into a dark abyss. This is one of my favourite flash fiction pieces that I’ve ever written.

The idea for the story sparked off from a burlesque performance I saw at the Cat House nightclub in Glasgow (probably around 2005!). I remember coming home a little bit tipsy and scribbling down some lines that didn’t fully form in to any kind of story until much later.

What struck me, and what I hope comes across in this piece, is that the girl on stage was totally in control and I wanted to switch the perspective away from her ‘being the show’, to the audience actually being the ones on display. ‘I am not naked. You are naked. I am not the show. This is the show.’

 

Exposure

‘She kept the window open and could hear the shouts below announcing the beginning of Saturday night…’

This explores the vulnerability of illness, the fragility of the body, the sense of losing youth and beauty and wanting to suspend it in time, as well as the connection you can experience during a seemingly fleeting encounter with a stranger.

The idea all started with a line that I thought might originally form a poem ‘Last Dance’, where I played around with similar themes, but it needed more exploration than a few lines in a poem so it became a story instead. ‘Her body was her weakness but also her strength. She needed to remember this.’ 

This story won runner up in a big competition and I was invited down to Foyles book shop in London for the launch of the anthology it originally featured in. This short story marks the beginning of a journey where I started to believe I could truly be a ‘proper writer’ one day.

 

Ghosts

‘Every Sunday when the clock chimes one, Tommy’s on the high street, pushing the empty wheelchair at high speed, chasing the pigeons..’

Often walking around my home town I would see an old man pushing an empty wheelchair. It fascinated me, and I built a story around this image, imagining that he still believed his late wife sat in it. The last line, ‘The discarded peel lies at her feet, curling into a heart shape, not yet part of the earth.’, was an observation I’d noted down from an image I’d seen months before of a tangerine skin curled into a heart shape lying on the ground.

 

Girl

‘Winter brings beauty back to her world. Frost masks dust, and with the snow comes a stillness; it flows through her body like a sigh…’

I think I originally wrote this for a competition with the theme of ‘Dark Fairytales’. A girl is locked in a house in a forest, pimped out by the ruthless ‘Queen’. The story goes to dark places, with redemption in the end. A lot of the time I start writing and I’ll try and not overthink scenes, waiting to see where the story takes me. With this, it started with a setting and a ‘mood’ and I let my subconscious flow.

 

 

If you don’t fancy entering the giveaway then ‘Exposure’ is available to buy on Amazon here in both ebook and paperback format 

 

NEXT MONTH I’m going to be doing a giveaway of Follow Me as the countdown begins for my second YA novel, Promise Me, due for release in September