Showing up (final post in series- blog post 15)

Back in January I decided to write a series of posts on here which focused on what my writing life has been like over the years. I wanted to share specific aspects that I thought might be helpful for writers just starting out, and also for seasoned writers who maybe just needed a reminder that we all experience very similar highs and lows, and to offer some encouragement to keep going during times you question your sanity, or ask yourself if it’s all worth it.

Over the past couple of months I’ve found it particularly difficult to focus on my writing. I’ve been struggling with tiredness and brain fog, a combination which isn’t great when you’re trying to plot and write a new book. But I’ve been determined to keep getting words down on paper/screen, and keep telling myself the first draft does not need to be perfect.

Embarking on a new book has reminded me of two important things:

It’s important to keep showing up

Each book takes shape in a different way

For my new project I’m trying to get words down not every day, but every week. That’s a win for me just now, and keeps the momentum going. Even although I was knackered yesterday I made myself sit down at my laptop and continue with my next chapter. I’m also doing my usual; scribbling notes in various notebooks and on the notes page on my phone. These pages are filled with plot ideas, characters and locations, that don’t yet have a place on the page, but I know they might eventually fit in somewhere, and it keeps the story ‘alive’ in my head. For me this is all part of the process.

I’d say so far my ‘work in progress’ is a bit messier than usual and as the book will require a lot of detailed description (to world build), I’m finding this is slowing down my natural writing style (which is usually a bit more dialogue heavy). I’m allowing myself to skirt over parts of the descriptions and will go back to fill it in later on. I know I’ll then enjoy it more because by then I’ll be able to see the whole plot laid out in front of me, and see what I need to do to enrich the world and bring it alive (hopefully) for the reader.

I usually like to edit and perfect my story as I go along, so I’m finding it challenging to allow myself to leave messy pages sitting in amongst the more polished ones. I’m used to writing contemporary stories, and this one has a magical element sitting alongside the everyday, so it’s teaching me that it’s okay to deviate from my usual way of working, as its a completely different style of story I am writing.

So as I draw this particular series to an end, if you have been embarking on a new creative project this year, or find yourself at the start of a new writing journey, my parting advice to you is simple:

Keep showing up.

No matter how messy your project might be looking right now, write through it, and come back and tidy up later on.

Watch this space for some insights into other writers’ journeys. I’ve not quite decided what this might look like, but after capturing some of my own experiences over the years, it’s made me curious to hear from other writers, and see what words of wisdom they might have to offer too.

Happy writing!

Here are links to all of the previous posts of the series for easy access:

Starting Out

Learn Your Craft

Learn Your Craft 2

Inspiration is Everywhere Part 1

Inspiration is Everywhere Part 2

Inspiration is Everywhere Part 3

Make Every Word Count

Competitions and Connections

Submission Stories Part 1

Submission Stories Part 2

Don’t wait for the phone to ring

Creative Space

Riding the Rollercoaster

What sells books?

Submission Stories #Part 1 (blog post 9 of series)

In these posts I’m moving more into a personal ‘behind the scenes look’ at my submission experiences for my three Young Adult books. I’ll do a post for each book. I’m doing these posts because I love to read about other author’s journeys. I find it motivates me and makes me feel less alone in what is quite a mad creative world. Also for all three books I’ve had very different experiences, which resulted in me taking more personal control.

Prior to ‘Book 1’ there were other books, but I refer to them as my practice novels. I completed my first typed ‘novel’ (as opposed to the many, let’s call them ‘novellas’, I had written in jotters) when I was about thirteen, and received my first rejection from a major publisher.  I wrote a magic realism contemporary novel in my early twenties and sent this out to a few publishers and one agent. I randomly met the agent’s assistant at an event and he said he pulled my book out of the slush pile and enjoyed it. (The agent making the decisions, didn’t). Years later I bumped into him at another event and he asked what happened to it. I am sure you are thinking I should have persisted with this one. But I felt I could write better, and by that point I had started to focus more on writing Young Adult, because most of the ideas that were forming in my head seemed to lend themselves better to having teen protagonists. So here’s some highlights of my submission journey with my debut Young Adult novel, which eventually did reach publication back in 2015.

Book 1 – Follow Me

When I first started writing Follow Me something took over. It was the first time a book seemed to take on a life of its own and perhaps because I was living alone at the time, once I had established a basic plot, characters, and written my prologue (which set the tone and gave my protagonist a ‘voice’), every time I sat down I was able to immerse myself fully in the world.

A couple of people who read Follow Me talked about the ‘hypnotic’ characters and feeling like the writing contained some kind of undefinable ‘magic’. I mention this, not to ‘big up’ my book (though I will always have a soft spot for this story), but because it aligns to how I felt early on when ideas and chapters unfolded. I could feel the magic driving this one, and I knew deep down this was going to be ‘the one’; the book I was going to get published, because it was the first time I properly felt like I knew what I was doing structurally, and was excited by the story and characters. Also, something in my mindset had changed. I had started to send out short stories, and was reaching publication, and being placed in competitions. I was starting to believe I could be a ‘serious writer’.

When I had nearly finished my first draft I submitted the book to the TC Farries competition at the Scottish Association of Writer’s conference and won first place.

A well-established children’s author was the adjudicator, and said it contained the ‘magic’ needed to captivate a YA audience. This gave me the confidence to finish it, fine tune my manuscript and start subbing to agents. Colleagues at the time discovered print-outs of my first few chapters and their excitement at reading, and wanting to continue reading (along with my Mum’s encouragement, and another writing friend) all kept me going…

And then when I started to sub to agents I got emails from about three asking very quickly to read the full manuscript. I was on tenterhooks waiting for replies as you can imagine.  But then the rejections started coming in.

Here’s a snapshot of some rejections.

Unfortunately, the premise involving twins is too similar to another title on our list. We wish you the best of luck with placing your work.

Many thanks for sending me your submission, which I read with interest. I’m afraid, however, that I didn’t feel passionately enough about it to offer you representation. You write well, but I’ve just taken on a book which deals with teen suicide so this feels too close to it for me. Our business is subjective by nature and another agent may well feel differently. I wish you the best of luck with that.

I realise now how lucky I was to get some personalised feedback. The landscape of publishing has changed a lot and it can be rare now to get any response.

The most disappointing knock-back was a rejection from an agent I met face to face at a York Writing Festival who was so excited when she read my first three chapters, and was so lovely in person. The type of agent I would have been happy to work with! Interestingly I really didn’t gel with a different agent at my other 1:1 and she suggested quite a graphic, dramatic change to part of my opening which made me feel uncomfortable. This experience showed me the importance of finding the right agent or publisher. Someone you connect with, and who understands your story.

This was the rejection email from the excited agent (I had to wait over 6 months for this, and it felt like a loooong wait):

As you know, I was really excited by your novel when we met in York, and I very much enjoyed reading the complete manuscript. It’s stayed with me and I’ve been ruminating on it since. The premise to the novel is really interesting and I think you write very well for this market. I love sister/twin stories too! I do think there is a lot of potential here, but I’m afraid I don’t think, at the moment, this stands out in what is a crowded market. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but do bear in mind that another agent may feel differently.

I was gutted to get such a positive rejection.

I kept going.

A BIG publisher were doing a call-out for a new teen digital-only imprint, and wanted the full manuscript emailed.

I received this exciting response from one of their editors: Thank you for sending Follow Me to xx for our consideration. I enjoyed reading it and think that your accessible voice matched with the dark and emotional subject matter makes it well suited to the list. …..  (The email then contained some editorial suggestions)…Of course we would discuss all of this later should we decide to acquire Follow Me but I just wanted to check with you before I share the script with the rest of the team whether Follow Me is still available for publication and if you would be open to editorial suggestions such as those I’ve mentioned.

I responded positively. A month later I got this response:

I just wanted to let you know that because it’s been so hectic here, I haven’t taken Follow Me to our acquisitions meeting yet, but I hope to do so next Wednesday and so I should have a decision for your shortly after that.

Then… SILENCE.  Six months later, still nothing.

Around this time I met a different publisher, who ended up taking Follow Me, at a networking event. I nearly didn’t speak to him, because I had already submitted Follow Me to them via their website submission process, but he said he didn’t remember reading it, they’d had server issues, so to email through the whole manuscript.

I emailed the big publishing house to let them know a Scottish publisher had shown interest, and another editor got back to me apologising saying the first editor had gone on maternity leave. She asked me to keep her posted on what happened, and she would read my submission again. Because I was offered print publication (and because the big house had just kept me hanging) I accepted the offer from the Scottish publisher. I had received an email from the Scottish publisher one night saying they had finished reading Follow Me and asked to meet me. Because of the ‘nearly there moments I’d had already’, I still wouldn’t let myself believe it was going to be positive news. But it  was at the face to face meeting I received an offer for publication.

It was fast-moving from there. The meeting took place at the start of April, with a publication date set for October the same year (this is very rare). It was a whirlwind which led to lots of doors opening for me in terms of opportunities to do talks and workshops in schools and in the community. I’ll talk more about those another time. The rollercoaster of ups AND downs continued, something I don’t think many people prepare you for, when you reach the goal of publication.

And sadly, with my second book I found myself back out on submission. I’ll focus on parts of that story in post 2.

I’ll leave you with some things I learned along the way from the first part of this journey:

My tips:

Spend time preparing your submission. Perfect your synopsis and intro email, along with the sample chapters. Follow the submission rules (you’re doing yourself and your book a disservice if you can’t take the time to read these properly and get them right).

If an agent, editor, or publisher takes the time to give you feedback, know that this means they really do see potential in your work and if the feedback contains constructive criticism, take time to reflect and take on board what they say

If you’re pitching to agents and you have the opportunity to pitch to them in person (to allow a face to face conversation) take it! A five minute conversation can tell you so much about the other person, and a two-way conversation allows you to see if they are on the same wavelength about your book

If you’ve spent time perfecting your craft, your book is well-written and enticing, your success now is going to rely a lot on being in the right place at the right time, connecting with the right agent/publisher, and persistence

Related to this: make the most of any writing related networking events you are invited to. Sometimes introductions to the right people means you are noticed and remembered when submitting/pitching

Don’t send your book out to one agent at a time. Any agent who says they want an exclusive read is worth avoiding (unless you’ve made some sort of personal connection with them, but even then I would say no- you’ll find out why in my next blog post). They can take six months, or more, to get back to you (IF AT ALL – the ghosting is real). A lot of very successful authors have had their manuscripts rejected 20 + times, so do your maths on that one. if they were sending them out one at a time, waiting months for responses

Forge friendships with creatives who understand the pain of the ups and downs of this journey. If you detect jealousy and negativity try to spend more time with people who lift you up. Trust me, at ALL times in this weird creative world, even when folk think you are doing well, you need to surround yourself with positive people

And to help us all keep the faith, some famous rejections:

Lisa Genova, Still Alice: about 100 rejections (or non-replies) from agents (info from Lithub.com)

After getting very little positive feedback, Genova opted to self-publish her book. Eventually, it was acquired and re-issued by Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, and proceeded to spend 40 weeks on the New York Times best seller list, and was made into a film.

Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler’s Wife: 25 rejections from agents.

After getting rejected by 25 agents, Niffenegger sent the book directly to a small San Francisco publisher, where an editor discovered and loved it. It became a best seller and was also made into a film.

One of my favourite books of recent years was Lessons in Chemistry. Here’s an interview with author Bonnie Garmus at Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper (you can read the full interview here https://www.mariashriversundaypaper.com/bonnie-garmus-lessons-in-chemistry/) – Did you indeed receive 98 rejections before Lessons in Chemistry?

“Yes! And they were all from agents. What happened was I had written a novel that was approximately 700 pages…Finally, agent number 98 said that she would read part of it…She wrote back the next day and said, ‘You write well, but you don’t understand this industry…’ The email was pretty nasty, but it was also a very big help. She said, ‘No one’s going to look at a debut author’s 700-page novel—ever. Do yourself a favor and write a novel of appropriate length, and you can send me that when you finish’—which I never did. But that all turned into Lessons in Chemistry. I started completely new. “

Reading these stats makes me realise I’ve never been this persistent. Talent, persistence and resilience. These are the magic ingredients.

Deviate from the plan

I often say I know a book is working when my characters start to take over. This is why I believe you can plan a rough outline and key aspects of the plot, but you have to give your story and characters permission to deviate from the plan. Just like real life, you can try to plan ahead but often external factors will throw your plans into chaos, or often throw up something better/unexpected.

When creating fully formed characters, until you get to know them properly they’re not always going to fit into your plotlines. You’ll often see writers suggesting you construct ‘characters studies/profiles’ in advance – like what’s their favourite band, foods, key moments from their childhood, are they are a morning/afternoon person? Which can all be helpful, but until they turn up on your page and get stuck into the action of your story and start interacting with your other characters none of that is going to tell you much about where they fit in to the bigger picture of your plotlines.

For my first two YA mysteries my characters told me what was going to happen, meaning I had to deviate from my planned endings. Neither of the original endings felt right. They were both written in and left there for quite a while. I couldn’t quite figure out why the endings didn’t sit well with me until I asked myself ‘but would that character actually do that?’ And then I realised I hadn’t stayed true to them and as soon as I understood this and let go of my own pre-conceived ideas, and really listened to my subconscious, it was obvious they’d already laid out all of the clues for me. Yes, we writers really do have voices talking to us in our heads. An acceptable kind of madness, in this mad world of novel construction.

During the planning stages for Young Blood I always knew I would have two main teen protagonists, Ana and Hope. I wanted to have two contrasting personalities and two contrasting situations. Ana and Hope’s narratives run through alternate chapters. 16 year old Ana is part of a tight-knit family and hasn’t really faced many challenges in life, which gives her a bit of a self-absorbed naivety. The uncertainty of her mum’s potential early-onset dementia diagnosis really shakes up her world. She is also upset when her new friend Hope disappears, and tries to find out what happened to her.

When I first started to plan the story I always thought Ana would dominate as her determination to find out what happened to Hope is a key driver of the plot. But then when my character Hope started to take shape I think she took over a bit!

15 year old Hope’s world was torn apart when she lost her mum three years previously and she finds herself in the care system. Her experiences have been lonely and unsettling and Hope welcomes Ana’s friendship until she’s taken from school one day and finds herself in the ‘House.’

I found writing Hope’s character emotional and her strength and fire, along with her vulnerability, was something I tried really hard to capture throughout the book. Her close bond with Seb in the house, and other key characters inside, also helped to flesh out other aspects of her personality and I started to grow very fond of and protective of her. So far she is probably one of my favourite characters I have written.

Throughout the book Hope finds strength from her family’s tarot cards.

My sister-in-law who makes beautiful handmade silver jewellery (see ImiandtheDeer here) gave me great support with the structural edits of Young Blood (she is a former English teacher!) and half-joked about designing a necklace inspired by Hope as part of a new collection. I was blown away when she gifted me the beautiful ‘Hope’ pendant below at my book launch. The pendant is a one-of-a kind – a ruby set in the middle of a gold sunburst, inspired by the back of Hope’s tarot cards which have a ‘ruby red jewel in the centre of blazing suns burning bright.’

That’s me wearing it on a recent trip to Arran. It’s so lovely to have a piece of jewellery to wear inspired by one of my characters! It makes Hope seem even more real to me.

I’ll leave you with a longer extract from a scene with Hope below. Links to buy Young Blood are here

“A reassuring warmth flowed through my body as I was greeted with the familiar image of a lion with magnificent orange mane, a goddess with flowing fair hair gripping the chain wound around his neck. Strength: You have more strength, power, and courage than you know. I felt the tight knot of anger I’d been carrying around the past few weeks start to unravel as I remembered Mum’s instruction, any time she drew this card for me, tugging on my hair which matched the fire of the lion’s mane. You are the lion AND the goddess. You remember that.
I tucked the card into my schoolbooks for a good luck charm.
Tomorrow I was going to try to be both.”